YAHUAH Protects His Own

                  

 

On 5/29/2015, I drove into Firestone Complete Auto Care in Waldorf, MD and requested wheel balance, tire rotation, and vehicle check. The report came back that nothing was wrong with the car and the report also indicated tire rotation was done at no charge. Nothing was wrong with the vehicle, except that the wheels needed to be balanced. The wheels were never balanced. I went home and did not drive again until 6/2/2015.

On 6/2/2015, while driving, I noticed that the car was making funny noises and as it progressed, the battery light came on. I thought the battery posts may have been loose so I went back to the same Firestone Complete Auto Care in Waldorf, MD. They went under the hood and did something. I told them the battery came from Sam’s Club a year ago, and it was still under warranty. The battery light went out and I started driving again. 2 miles down the road, the battery light came on again. I turned around and went back. They said, “It’s your alternator.” He said it would cost $473.38 dollars to fix it. I allowed the work to be done because I was too far away from home and in route to school. I did not want to risk driving with the battery light on and the car making funny noises. I didn’t want to break down in the middle of a traffic jam. He called AutoZone and ordered a re-manufactured alternator and charged me for a brand new alternator. I feel like because I am a female, something was done to my vehicle to make me come back to them for service. There was nothing wrong with the car when I went to them on 5/29/2015. I only needed wheel balance and rotation. I keep excellent maintenance records and know there was nothing mechanically wrong with this vehicle. They never balanced the wheels. I believe they created a situation whereby my battery drained because the alternator was unplugged.

They charged $270 dollars for an AutoZone alternator that only cost $169.99 plus $50 core charge…And Firestone never returned my core so I could at the very least get $50 back on the core charge. I paid using my Firestone credit card. When I went to school that evening, I felt like I had been financially raked over the coals. To think I was going to let them replace my tires, later this year.

I said, “Yahuah, I know you not going to let them get away with that.” My license plates reads, “YAHUAH1”.  So, the first vehicle check and the work receipt had Yahuah’s Name on it.  Late that night, I wrote and filed a complaint with the Better Business Bureau that was ignored by Firestone. I went to Legal Shield and they wrote Firestone a letter on my behalf. I even posted on ripoffreport.com. And lastly, I wrote and sent a notarized affidavit, clearly outlining what happened. I made the first payment on the credit card in the amount of $73.38. I told myself I would pay off the card and never do business with this company again. Everyone said I didn’t have sufficient proof and I should’ve got a second opinion. I gave up thinking this situation would never be resolved.

A little over a month later, I’m taking a nap and the phone rings on my PC. I answer and it’s someone from Firestone headquarters. She asked me to go over all the details of what happened again. I did and told them how the business practice at the Waldorf, MD location makes my skin crawl. She said her job is to see to it that I am OK. Then she asked me if a full refund would be to my satisfaction. I said, “Yes Ma’am.” She said give it a couple of days but the manager at the Waldorf. MD location where I initially took the car will process the refund. On Friday, July 17, 2015, a full refund was issued on my credit card and the balance said -$73.38 (The payment I made that has to go back to my bank card).  Yahuah is awesome!!!! Barak Atah Yahuah!!!

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How Yahuah Pulled Me from the Flames

Back in 2008, I was in a car accident. Little did I know that, this particular car accident would set in motion, a chain of events that would alter my life forever. I began physical therapy shortly after the accident and after the initial x-rays, the doctor told me that I had arthritis and bone spurs in my neck and back.  Therapy lasted well in to two months of starting because of my issues. However, when the therapy was done, I felt like I had a new lease on life. There was no pain in my neck and back that lasted for 4 years. When my dad suffered his stroke in 2011 and came to live with us in 2012, we quickly adjusted because he’s family and that’s what we do. We take care of our own.

However, more and more, I was having my daughter rub my neck and shoulders. I blamed it on stress and felt a good massage would take care of it. And, it did. I was able to relax and go to sleep.  Little by little, I did not know that the arthritis and bone spurs were rearing its ugly head in my neck and back. After my dad died on my birthday, May 3, 2013, it was time to go see the doctor to find out why I was having constant pain in my arms, back, hip, legs, neck and shoulders. And there was numbness in my fingers and hand spasms.  I needed 30 minutes, just to get out of bed, as I could not just jump up.

There was tingling sensations running up and down my right arm and right leg. I experienced pain at the nape of my neck and my shoulder blades. I began having difficulties walking too. On good days, I could navigate the stairs. On bad days, my right knee would give out and I could only go up stairs, one step at a time. Something was wrong and I wanted answers. So I went to my physician and I may be biased, but my physician is the best. He immediately ordered MRIs and X-rays for me.  Before I could get home from the MRIs, my doctor was blowing my phone up. I called back when I got home and he scheduled an appointment to see me right away. He told me there was a lesion or bright spot in the center of my spine and it had to be looked at by a specialist. He gave me the name of a neurosurgeon and I made the appointment.

After I was examined by the first neurosurgeon and he said I needed surgery to replace the disks in my neck. And that would relieve the pressure on my spine. Then all the crazy signals on my right side would stop. I looked the doctor straight in the eyes and asked him, “Can you help me?” He said yes and I felt comfortable with him. We set up surgery for the end of May and I felt confident my mobility will be OK.  My insurance company called and said, “Hey, that doctor is not in our network. If you pursue him, you will be paying out of pocket.” Then she said, “We will send you to a doctor in our network and provide a cab to take you and pick you up from all of your appointments. I had no choice but to relent. I didn’t have thousands of dollars to pay the first doctor.

An appointment with neurosurgeon number two was set up at Georgetown University Hospital.  A quick check revealed that this hospital rank #4 in neurosurgery.  The doctor was nice, like the first one but was more thorough. He wanted all new testing done at the hospital. I told him what the first doctor told me, but he said he needs to make his own determinations.  This was the first time I received a preliminary diagnosis: Cervical Spondylosis with Myelopathy.  Then I was off again to do new MRIs and X-rays. The MRI staff also compared the first set of MRIs to the second set and found that I had gotten worse between the two sets of testing.

The doctor made his findings and called me before I made it home from all the testing. He said if I experience any pain or discomfort over the weekend, to go to the emergency room. What a cryptic message. But I was going to see him on Monday so I stayed in and did not do any activities. On Monday, after my last set of X-rays, I saw the doctor. He told me that I need to have a C 5-6 and C 6-7 Cervical Anterior Discectomy and fusion. That’s where the remove two disks in my neck, shave the bone spurs down and replace the disks with cadaver bones that has been disinfected, and put a plate and screws over it. Then close it up. And within 4 weeks, my bones should begin to fuse with the cadaver bones. I asked him if he has ever done this surgery before and he said, “Many Times.”  I said, “Let’s Do It.” And I also told the doctor that there was something about him. I couldn’t put my finger on it, but I trusted him. He thanked me and said that means a lot to him. I believe it was the eye contact he always maintained when we talked.

Surgery was scheduled for September 10, 2013 at 7:30 AM.  I had to do all the pre surgery pre-screening testing. That’s where they draw your blood and ask you a bunch of questions. I made it clear that I did not want a blood transfusion. She said, “Even if it’s medically necessary?” And I said yes.  I had to sign a no blood transfusion order and I also had to check off that I am not Jehovah’s Witness. I just follow the scriptures real close and Yah forbids eating blood.

Deuteronomy 12:23 Only be sure that thou eat not the blood: for the blood is the life;

Act 15:20 But that we write unto them, that they abstain from pollution of idols, and from fornication, and from things strangled, and from blood.

One’s life force is in the blood. Other options were discussed with me but I chose the option where they would remove my blood as needed and put my own blood back into me. It’s a relatively new technique, something like dialysis, where they filter your own blood back to you.

Next up was the Advanced Directive. I went in with blind faith in Yahuah and I checked off no, to CPR, or life sustaining treatments, no to artificial nutrition and hydration, no to comfort care, no organ donations, and no autopsy. I put myself completely into the hands of Yahuah because no one can pluck me from His hands. I was certain of it.  OK, I was all set. I had a little anemia and had to take Vitron-C vitamins to build my iron.  On the day of surgery, I had to be there at 5:30 AM, exactly two hours before. I stayed up all night and was there at 5:20 AM.

The medical staff was great. I had no candy, food, gum, or water after 12:00 AM., so I was pretty hungry but sleepy, more than hungry. Everything is a process at this hospital. I had to register again but once that was done; I was led to the surgical room where I changed clothes into a gown. They had me bath with antibacterial soap, twice. Then, I had to wipe down with antibacterial wipes.  Yes, they were thoroughly clean there. They did not want any infection issues. The wipes were warm and then they brought me warm blankets for my bed.  I was OK.  Both legs were tingling and my right arm was tingling. This surgery could not come soon enough for me.

I met the anesthesiologist; a couple of interns, and the guy who told me that my blood was low. The bedside manner was excellent. They put a No Blood arm band on my left arm.  An I.V. was started. Then, the neurosurgeon came in to greet me and next thing I know, the anesthesiologist said, “I’m putting something in your I.V. to relax you.”  And that’s all I remember. Next thing I knew, I woke up in recovery, some 6 hours later.  A private room was ready for me and I had to go to X-ray first so the neurosurgeon could look at his work and make sure the surgery was a success. My room was awesome. I laid in a bed that massaged me all night long. And they had leg wraps around my legs that massaged me too. I told the nurse that my throat hurt and she said that was from the breathing tube. And I had this pain in the upper middle part of my back and she said that was possibly from anesthesia. It didn’t stop my next questions. “I need food and can I get some ice water?” At a blink of an eye, I had deli turkey sandwich, cookie, and ice water. I was cool. I ate half and went to sleep.

When I woke up, I called my mom and she said the doctor had called her. And he told her that if I had said no or would have put off the surgery, I would have been paralyzed and in a wheel chair. He said it’s an arthritic condition that, if left untreated, renders you paralyzed. In hindsight, I realized that’s why the doctors would call me in a panic after each MRI I had done. I remembered my primary physician saying, “You have to get that taken care of immediately.”  Yahuah’s fingerprint is all over this. He removed me from the first doctor, who rushed to judgment without additional testing and had me go to a facility that was not only above board but ranked #4 in neurosurgery. And the new doctor would not make a move until he did his own testings and made his own decisions.

The next morning, I first met the tray delivery, she was so nice. And I told her, “May God keep her and bless her.” She turned around and said, “That was a nice thing to say. They found cancer in my breast and removed them just in time. And now, I am cancer free. Thank you for saying that.”  I thought she was going to cry. She said she would fix me a sandwich to take with me, since I was leaving. That was a heartfelt interaction that had occurred. And I reflected on it. Next up, I had visits from what looked like, all the staff members I met before surgery, except the anesthesiologist. The pre surgery screening nurse came and the nurse who told me I needed iron. The pre surgery nurse said, “Stay in the scriptures.” And I told her I will. They wished me well and left. Next up was the surgeon and his assistant surgeon. The surgeon gave me all of my post operation instructions. He maintained eye contact the entire time. He told me the surgery was a success and wants to see me in 4 weeks. He checked me over and said he would process the discharge paperwork. Next, I had to be unhooked from all of my massaging gadgetry. I didn’t like that part. I wish I could take it all home with me. After the antibiotics finished, I was unhooked from everything.  I got dressed and the nurse came in with her instructions. She also alerted transportation that I was ready to go. The wheel chair and my sandwich arrived at the same time. I was free to go home. Outside, my brother pulled up within minutes and I was in route home.

I received excellent care at this hospital but I also feel Yahuah worked through all the staff at that hospital for a successful turnaround. Yahuah made all of this happen according to His will.   

John 10:29  My Father, which gave them me, is greater than all; and no man is able to pluck them out of my Father’s hand.

And no one could ever stop me from loving my creator: The Alahym of Abraham, The Alahym of Issac, The Alahym of Jacob. Yahuah Rapha. Aman.

 

by Joan Farley

 

 

 

 

Posted in Life, Relationship, Spiritual | Tagged , , , , , , , , | 3 Comments

Nailed By A Manger

The idea of Christmas has always been confusing. A gazillion dollar industry that spans worldwide. On the one hand, you remember the birth of Christ as our savior. Then, this immortalized infant in a manger is enshrouded with all these extra fallacies;  Santa Claus, (A grown man with full powers) the snowman, the Christmas trees (decorated with bulbs and other trinkets, the presents, and all the propaganda that goes with it. Exodus 32, when Moses had not returned from the mountaintop; the people were running amuck with sin. Ultimately creating a golden calf to be worshiped  And in Matthew 21:12, Yahusha (Not Jesus) entered the Temple and began to drive out all the people buying and selling animals for sacrifice. He knocked over the tables of the money changers and the chairs of those selling doves. Haven’t we done the same thing with Christmas ? Aren’t Christmas trees too similar to the golden calf? Jonah 2:8 (KJV)  “Those that observe lying vanities forsake their own mercy.  Santa, ultimately, a false god? Santa and Satan are synonymous.  How uncanny it is that Yahusha (Not Jesus) is forever bound as an infant while Santa is a grown, fictitious man that has all the power at Christmas  So, in my curiosity, I was scanning through pictures that were being posted on Facebook. And I came across a picture of a baby Yahusha, (Not Jesus) in a manger and a lamb was standing alongside. So I had to ask:
Me: May I ask why Yahusha, (Not Jesus) is immortalized as a infant? He’s grown and was an adult when he was crucified. When birthdays are celebrated, also Pagan,  are baby pictures sought out and displayed? Of course not. Celebrations occur in the present tense. I just find this entire concept preposterous. Yahusha, (Not Jesus) did not want his birthday celebrated.  It’s Pagan. He would never do anything that would be offensive to His Father in Heaven. If he did, wouldn’t his true birthday be noted in the scriptures? I’m truly scratching my head. If I’m wrong, please feel free to correct me.
Her: JESUS BIRTH IS CELEBRATED BECAUSE HE WAS BORN OF A VIRGIN AND THE HOLY GHOST RESTED ON HER SO HE WAS CONCEIVED WITHOUT SIN. ALL OTHERS DESCENDED FROM ADAM AND HE WAS A SINNER. CHRIST WAS NOT.HE WAS THE HOLY SON OF GOD. HE DID NOT COME FROM A EARTHLY FATHER EITHER. HE CAME FROM GOD. WE REMEMBER HIM AS A BABY BECAUSE IT WAS JESUS WHO WAS, GOD WITH US, OR EMMANUEL THE SAVIOR  MANY SIGNS CONFIRMED HIS BIRTH. THE SHEPHERDS  THE STAR, and THE WISE MEN. SO WE CELEBRATE HIS BIRTH. AS A BABY, when HE BECAME FLESH SO WE COULD BE REDEEMED BY KNOWING GOD IN THE PERSON OF HIS SON.THE LITTLE LORD JESUS.
Me: That’s not answering my question…you are only telling me the theory behind Christmas. I need to know why an infant has to be immortalized forever on December 25th. A baby in a manger….Yahusha, (Not Jesus) was grown when he died, rose and ascended to heaven. If Yahusha, (Not Jesus) wanted his birthday immortalized; whereby he would be stuck in a manger forever as an infant, would not the true date be listed in the scriptures? And…if I recall correctly, Yahusha, (Not Jesus) commanded us to remember the Passover always…Not the resurrection aka Easter, nor his birth aka Christmas, (Not the true birth date). We are supposed to remember and observe those Set Apart days. I’m sorry, but I need to follow the scriptures closely to save my soul…

And, if the whole holiday idea did revolved around baby Yahusha, (Not Jesus)…where did Santa  the tree with bulbs, the snowman and all the other garbage come from? I only need scriptural answers. Not suppositions or your opinion. I want the TRUTH!!!!!!!!

The wise men recognized  Yahusha, (Not Jesus) as the Messiah while he was still a child, and traveled thousands of miles to worship him. Not by car…they walked and had camels and donkeys. They doggedly followed a star which led them to Yahusha, (Not Jesus). By the time they met Yahusha, (Not Jesus), he was in a house and a small child, not an infant, implying they arrived a year or more after his birth. Their gifts symbolize the Messiah’s  identity and mission: gold for a king, incense for an Elohim, and myrrh, used to anoint the dead. YAHUAH honored the wise men by warning them in a dream to go home by another route and not to report back to King Herod.

http://christianity.about.com/od/newtestamentpeople/a/Three-Kings.htm and further truth ; http://www.snopes.com/holidays/christmas/3wisemen.asp

By reading this, we know that this holiday is not true doctrine. First, Yahusha (Not Jesus) was born and placed in a manger. After which, the story gets scrambled. I see pictures of baby Yahusha (Not Jesus) in a manger, surrounded by the three wise men  However, since the the wise men (No number given in Matthew 2:9-11) walked, using camels and donkeys, it was not possible for the these wise men to see Yahusha (Not Jesus) when he was born. In fact, it took approximately 1 year for the wise men to get to the inn. By then, Yahusha (Not Jesus) was indoors and no longer an infant. Secondly and most importantly, there was no Santa Claus, no Christmas trees, no snowman and no mad rush to buy presents.

Matthew 16:24. Then Yahusha, (Not Jesus) said to his disciples, “If anyone would come after me, he must deny himself and take up his cross (Spiritually)and follow me. Only thing is, how could this be accomplished, accurately? I don’t know about you…but I will not be following an infant trapped in a manger. That’s for sure. If Yahusha, (Not Jesus) were to return today, not many would recognize him. Non believers and delusional pagan followers currently, have visions of a infant, in their heads. A baby that’s trapped in a manger, forever.They would certainly fall prey to the false Messiah that comes before the Real Messiah.  Revelation 19:11-16. People will not be paying rent and or mortgages to buy presents for a pagan holiday that is not scripture based and not worth the energy it generates. Then sadly, when January comes, and they return to their normal schedules, many will be evicted and set out on the streets because they chose to follow a fruitless path. What does YAHUAH say about this “fruitless” path?

Jeremiah 10:1-5 (KJV):

Jeremiah 10:1 Hear ye the word which YAHUAH speaketh unto you, O house of Israel:
Jeremiah 10:2 Thus saith YAHUAH, Learn not the way of the heathen, and be not dismayed at the signs of heaven; for the heathen are dismayed at them.
Jeremiah 10:3 For the customs of the people are vain: for one cutteth a tree out of the forest, the work of the hands of the workman, with the axe.
Jeremiah 10:4 They deck it with silver and with gold; they fasten it with nails and with hammers, that it move not.
Jeremiah 10:5 They are upright as the palm tree, but speak not: they must needs be borne, because they cannot go. Be not afraid of them; for they cannot do evil, neither also is it in them to do good.

Jeremiah 2:5 (KJV)  Thus saith YAHUAH, What iniquity have your fathers found in me, that they are gone far from me, and have walked after vanity, and are become vain?

1 Peter 4:3 (KJV) :

1Peter 4:3 For the time past of our life may suffice us to have wrought the will of the Gentiles, when we walked in lasciviousness, lusts, excess of wine, revellings, banquetings, and abominable idolatries:

1 John 5:21 (KJV)  Little children, keep yourselves from idols. Amen.

Romans 8:18-21 (KJV)

Romans 8:18 For I reckon that the sufferings of this present time are not worthy to be compared with the light which shall be revealed in us.
Romans 8:19 For the earnest expectation of the creature waiteth for the manifestation of the sons of Elohim.
Romans 8:20 For the creature was made subject to vanity, not willingly, but by reason of him who hath subjected the same in hope,
Romans 8:21 Because the creature itself also shall be delivered from the bondage of corruption into the glorious liberty of the children of YAHUAH.

Our Heavenly father eagerly awaits in expectation of us to liberate ourselves from bondage and ultimate decay! Remove the blinders and stop following pagan rituals and foolish idols. The Scriptures warns us in Isaiah 55:6 to “Seek ye YAHUAH while He may be found.” I pray that you all open your eyes and follow the Ruach, that already resides in each of you. I will leave you with the full Isaiah 55:6 scripture.  May YAHUAH Bless You with Insight!

Isaiah 55:6, Also the sons of the stranger, that join themselves to YAHUAH, to serve him, and to love the name of YAHUAH, to be his servants, every one that keepeth the sabbath from polluting it, and taketh hold of my covenant;

by Joan Farley

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How Good is Yahuah’s Love

I had  been running from my Alahym for a long time and He has kept nudging me.

All through the years of my life. But I thought YAHUAH had made a mistake and

put me in the wrong century. Bad things kept happening to me. And I asked, “why

couldn’t my heart get hard like so many other people?  Why was I being used and

drained by spiritually dead people? And,  why I was surrounded by fake people

who meant me no good?” YAHUAH nagged at me and kept reminding me that He

was there. People would invite me to their church,  Christians would invite me to

study the bible with them, seemingly, when I needed to the most and I tried to

succumb to it. I would go to church for a while, or have bible study. I would

start going in their direction for a while and then slip right back into worldly

things, getting deeper and deeper into ruts that were driving me crazy. Going

from one bad relationship to the next. One fake friend after the other.  I felt

like people were going to suck the life right out of me. And at 49, I was

weary and tired one night  and I got down on my knees. I cried, and begged

YAHUAH (God back then) to come into my life. I could not handle it by

myself anymore. Too many wolves wrapped in sheep clothing were after

my soul.  That night, I gave myself to Yahuah (Still calling Him God),

completely. I begged for the ancient paths and the old ways. My heart

and  my spirit were broken. I surrendered and felt only YAHUAH could

help me at that point. My situation was bigger than me. Immediately

after crying and praying, I felt a sense of calm. I felt like everything was

going to be all right. I was trying to turn my life around. I was tired of

drugging and hanging with people, who could care less about me. I was

tired of dragging myself through the mud, for things that happened to me,

that was out of my control.  It was not my fault.  Yet, I blamed me for the

child molesters that corrupted my childhood and I blamed me for the bullies

that wreaked havoc on my young life. As a young adult, I thought I was

destined to forever have tragic things happen to me. I was sexually

assaulted and my virginity was taken in date rape. It all came to a head

in my mid 20s. But I had to go through 4 nervous breakdowns. I had

three beautiful babies, out of wedlock, by three different fathers. All

three fathers chose not to be involved in their child’s life. This  was

incredibly painful. I blamed myself and  spiraled out of control and

street drugs took over. I hated me and I blamed YAHUAH for all that

had gone horribly wrong in my life. But, it was not Yahuah’s fault.

The prince of this world is Satan. Everything that happened to me reeked

of the devil. Yah had no part in my worldly traumas. The child molesters,

the bullies, the men that sexually assaulted me and my date rape were all

done by spiritually dead people. And they almost took me down with them.

The nervous breakdowns, the self destructive path with suicide attempts,

almost but did not shut down the light inside of me. Yahuah knew that He

had a better plan for me. I couldn’t see it. All I knew was that I was too kind

hearted and people were always trying to take advantage of me. That was my

biggest weakness, or so I thought. See YAHUAH is Love. And His Love is Kind.

YAHUAH made me kind and loving. It wasn’t my fault that people couldn’t stand

being around my goodness and tried to corrupt me or destroy me. For a while

though, they did steal my joy and almost ruined me. But once I surrendered,

Alahym enveloped me with a sense of assurance that “this too shall pass”. I

became celibate, started my own business with zero seed money, and struggled

to make it in the entrepreneurial world. Don’t get me wrong, my new struggles

are good struggles. I stay humble and strive to be in the world but not of the world.

YAHUAH has been good to me. My business is growing at a slow but solid pace.

YAHUAH removed the  bad people that were hanging in my life and blessed me

with not friends but Achy and Achuty people that have become my family. All

of them have Yahuah first in their lives. But it didn’t stop there. Yahuah knew I

needed to grow and learn, to stay busy and work to sustain. I needed help and I

prayed and asked to be able to stand on my own two feet. He sent business my

way, that found me on the internet. He placed spiritual people in my path that

is helping me to learn and grow. As far as relationships with the opposite sex,

I’m waiting and we shall see. I’m not looking. Just allowing the YAHUAH to

provide all that I need. I’ve already squandered 30 years of my life on guys

who didn’t deserve the time of day, yet alone, have access to my mind, body

and soul. For that, I have been celibate for  two years. I do not want do

anything that’s not pleasing to YAHUAH. I’m not yet able to stand on my own

two feet. But, it’s coming. I can feel it.  And I claim it, in YAHUSHA’S  name.

YAHUAH is all I want now. And  YAHUAH provides people around me to assist

with my spiritual walk. I now have genuine people that really care about me in

my life. Isn’t that something? I could cry at how beautiful YAHUAH’S love is…

but I won’t get emotional. After all these years of having cold hearted, spiritually

dead people just take, take, and take from me, I can now say, for the first time in

my life….I have true family around me. How Good is Yah’s Love? Priceless.

YAHUAH ALAHYM don’t make mistakes!

by Joan Farley

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THE SPIRITUAL ATTACKS ON MY FLESH

My skin issues is a testimony in itself.  From the very young age of 4 until my current age of 53, I have had one skin eruption after the other. These eruptions would appear out of no where and wreak havoc on my existence. I felt ashamed and humiliated because of the way other classmates would taunt me in school.  Even as an adult, I felt ashamed and would stay indoors during break outs to avoid stares. If I wanted to venture outdoors, I needed at least 24 hours to prep my skin to get it, “Outdoor ready.” And that would only buy me a window of 2, maybe 3 hours. Then I would have to run back home

Your skin is the largest organ of the body. And when skin issues occur, it can be very debilitating. From childhood until now, 52 years old, I have had bouts with different skin issues. First, as a child, I had Eczema.  ttp://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmedhealth/PMH0001856/   My inner arms and behind my knees would crack and bleed. That was very painful. When that cleared up, I had the worse case of Chicken Pox you ever want to see.  http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmedhealth/PMH0002559/ I had chicken pox in my mouth, in my ears, and everywhere else you could think of. I wanted to die, on the spot. Funny thing, I was on a trip  to Canada. It was on the way back from New York to DC that I just broke out and had a fever with it. I was miserable. As a teenager, out of no where, I broke out from Pityriasis  Rosea. http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmedhealth/PMH0001874/   I lost pigmentation from the tip of my nose, down to the bottom of my thighs. I had to bring a doctor’s note to school, stating that I was not contagious.  Of course, no one wanted to sit by me in class. Thank Yahuah, that cleared up as fast as it came. After child birth, some years later, I break out with Psoriasis. http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmedhealth/PMH0001470/  I lived with the psoriasis over 20 years and tried every topical known. I spent thousands of dollars in lotions and oils, with only temporary results. I tried to get into trial studies of psoriasis but they said my break out was mild and they wanted the severe cases first. Recently, I tried UVB Phototherapy.   http://www.psoriasis-cure-now.org/uvb-puva/   And to my surprise, it provided relief for the first two months. I was feeling better about myself and I felt less self conscious about it.  Then, the strangest thing happened. The psoriasis went into remission and all of a sudden, I broke out from Pityriasis Lichenoides.  A rare skin disease.  http://emedicine.medscape.com/article/1099078-overview  The worse break out was on my left arm and hand. Then a series of smaller, less significant breakouts elsewhere.  My left arm and hand itched like crazy. I had to wear long sleeves on hot days.  I showed my dermatologist and ultimately, the biopsy determined what it was.  She told me that I need full bodied PUVA treatments.   http://www.psoriasis-cure-now.org/uvb-puva/ However, before I could get to the PUVA treatments, another strange thing happened. My face broke out from what is known as Acne Rosacea. http://www.medicinenet.com/rosacea/article.htm and because if it, the pigmentation in my face has all but left. I’ve read that menopause may be the underlying cause for the facial issues. All I know is that I am tired. Tired of having to deal with, yet, another skin issue.

Having all of these bouts with different skin afflictions have been a humbling experience.  I am self conscious of my skin and only venture out of doors for work related activities. If I don’t have to go outside, I won’t go. It has triggered anxiety reactions in me. I have very dry skin, which was a catalyst to all the issues I have been through, regarding my skin. My current skin condition is considered manageable. I can get my skin presentable for going outside. I use Eucerin Plus Intensive Repair lotion.  http://www.drugstore.com/eucerin-plus-intensive-repair-lotion/qxp164048  This lotion provides the milky, creamy base that I need for my dry skin. It’s been very effective in helping my skin get public ready. What ever occurs with my skin next, would be of no consolation.  I’m  told that because I’ve  had chicken pox, I can look forward to Shingles later.  http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmedhealth/PMH0001861/ Since I break out from everything, the dermatologist started treating my psoriasis with steroids (cortisone) injections. http://www.papaa.org/psoriatic-arthritis-treatments/corticosteroids And, it seems to work very well. All the break outs disappeared with markings or spots of where the psoriasis were. I still have Acne Rosacea. However, Tretinoin 0.05% cream night treatments keep the breakouts minimal. So my skin at this time is acceptable. Because of Yahuah, I have a great dermatologist that can address any and all of my break outs professionally. I am now a happy camper.

by Joan Farley 

by Joan Farley

Posted in Family | Tagged , , , , , , | 1 Comment

Exercise, Have Fun, and Spend Minimal Dollars

I found a great way to exercise, have fun and spend minimal dollars. You have to take your mind and body back to a place, you know so well.  Its a place where you have your fondest childhood memories. Yes, the playground.  I went to the playground and just swung on the swing for about 15 minutes.  Later, my legs, back, shoulders and arms felt sore. But while I was swinging, memories of the fun I had as a child on my very first swing set, flooded my mind. It was wonderful and I felt exuberant. There’s a sense of freedom as you go higher and higher. I want more. I have to go back to the playground. So move over kids, here I come.  Most of the playground items from my child hood are gone. I saw no merry go rounds, no see saws, and no monkey bars. There are play gyms with built in slides. Some of which are too small for adults. I suggest doing your homework in locating the playgrounds of the past. For me, Washington DC had a host of old styled playgrounds, loaded with goodies. I do think See Saws are long gone because of injuries to children like bruised knees, bleeding chins, etc.  http://www.livingwellmagazine.net/health/lwm-health-news/family-health/109-is-the-seesaw-missing-from-your-playground-of-health

Did you know you can burn 200 calories by swinging on the swings for one hour.  http://www.livestrong.com/article/372316-is-swinging-on-a-swing-good-exercise/

You can have a whole playground workout, right along with your kids.  http://venice-kichura.suite101.com/how-to-have-a-playground-workout-a77667

The health benefits of working out at the playground are endless.  http://voices.yahoo.com/the-playground-exercise-plan-parents-317054.html

Remember hopscotch? Well, there is a great fitness benefit to hopscotch too. http://mizfitonline.com/2010/12/15/five-reasons-you-need-to-hopscotch/

You can also take things along with you to enjoy a great workout while having fun.  Hula hoops can be used plain or weighted for extra benefit. http://www.livestrong.com/article/288017-what-are-the-fitness-benefits-of-hula-hooping/

Jump ropes are great work out accessory. http://www.fitnessmagazine.com/workout/arms/express/jump-rope-workouts/

Remember the “Skip, skip, skip to my lou  song?” You can skip your way to fitness too.  Having fun, laughing and playing is the key to overall health.  http://www.telegraph.co.uk/health/dietandfitness/3343767/Skipping-your-way-to-fitness.html

The whole idea is to have fun, without spending a bunch of money. Jump rope costs anywhere from $2.00 dollars to $40.00. Hula Hoops costs from $4.00 dollars to $30.00. And, you don’t need a gym bag. Just put on some sweat clothes, tennis shoes, and go have some pure uncut fun! Enjoy life. Get out there and play. Have fun and lose weight.

by Joan Farley

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A Laugh (Revisited)

Every time I think of what happened, I crack up laughing. We went to the doctor’s office so my mother could complete her checkup. The psychiatrist, wife and medical doctor, husband (Husband and Wife team), were both there seeing patients as well. I figured on a long wait because several patients were ahead of us. But before I could relax with my iPod, a hot flash came on and all of a sudden, sweat just started pouring off me. So I asked the receptionist if the heat was on because it was so hot. She said, “No, the heats not on, but if you’re hot, you can turn the fan on. I turn around and look at the fan and its a stand-up fan standing on a pedestal. A patient waiting on a seat, near the fan, attempted to turn the fan on. But the fan would not power on. She looked at my mother, seated beside her and my mother said, in a calm voice, “It might work better if it was plugged in.” I looked down at the floor, near the outlet and the plug end of the cord was laying near the wall. She plugged it in and the fan came on, giving me relief.

I looked at the lady and she had a look of chagrin on her face. I said, “Make sure you tell the doctor all of that so she can give you the right meds.”  At that moment, I burst out laughing and couldn’t stop. I don’t know, it was one of those silly moments where I could not stop laughing. Every time I looked at her, I couldn’t control it. I kept picturing her, fiddling with the power button. And the fan was unplugged. The receptionist asked me if I was OK. And I said no and screamed with laughter into my crumbled clothes to muffle the sound.  She got mad at me and unplugged the fan, thinking that would stop me. I fell out on the floor and was banging on the carpet.

Then, I started thinking, “Hold up, if she is here to see the psychiatrist. you better get a hold of yourself.” So I picked myself back up, on to the chair and tried to gain some kind of composure. And it was working until I saw her in my peripheral view. I got up and almost ran out of the office, laughing all over again crying and both sides hurting. I know she wanted to beat my ass to the ground. But guess what? She didn’t know if I was there to see the psychiatrist or not.  And the thoughts of me going off on her was sure to have crossed her mind, too. I stayed in the outer lobby of the building until my mother was done.  Laughing hard like that makes me look like a silly ass immature kid, but I love getting my laugh on. It can be debilitating for me. When I’m driving, I have to pull over and maybe let someone else drive.  And, I can’t control it. When it comes, my daughter knows how to rub my back and help me to get control of my faculties. It can occur at any time, anywhere, and any place.  Just pray for me guys. This is one behavior flaw that can be irritating for some. (Whatever)

by Joan Farley Nyobe

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Where Were You?

Where Were You?

Where were you when our child was conceived?

Where were you when our child was born? With the umbilical cord wrapped around the neck.

Where were you on our child’s first doctor visit?

Where were you when our child was in the emergency room? All night long.

Where were you when our child lost the first tooth?

Where were you during the doctor visits, the scraped knees,

the tears, the whining and the joy?

Where were you on the birthdays and the  holidays?

Where were you through sicknesses and health issues?

Where were you when our child came home covered in feces

from an accident on the bus?

Where were you when our child was diagnosed “Learning Disabled?

Where were you during the IEP conferences?

Where were you when our child graduated from elementary, high school,

and Computer School?

Where were you when our child began classes at University of Maryland?

Where were you when our child began dating and needed guidance?

Where were you?   I think you were hiding like a child, avoiding responsibilty,

with your head, stuck, where the sun don’t shine.

Me? I was busy, being the mother and the father.

So don’t come at me now that the child is grown,

wondering why the child don’t know you. Just look

in the mirror and ask yourself, “Where were you?”

by Joan Farley Nyobe

Posted in Children, Family, Love | Tagged , , , , | 2 Comments

Coming Face to Face with My Mortality

On December 21, 2011, my dad was discovered at 1 pm, in and out of consciousness, laying in his backyard. He was rushed by ambulance to the hospital, where it was determined that he had a stroke.  The circumstances surrounding his stroke are very sad however, he has made great improvement.  My dad was born and grew up in Tifton, Georgia. His mother gave  birth to two boys. She gave my father away to her mother to raise and kept the lighter skinned child. My dad’s childhood was short because he had to feed and clothe himself at a young age. He dropped out of high school at the age of 17.  As soon as he did, he is drafted in the US Army, where he served a tour of duty. He met my mom on a blind date and they hit it off. (Or so it seemed) They married in 1958 and had three children. One girl,(me) and two boys,( my brothers). My oldest brother died from cardiac arrhythmia, triggered by acute renal failure. He was mentally retarded and what I learned from him is immeasurable. I learned compassion for man kind and I learned to understand the differences in people. I can go on and on, but this blog is about my dad.

My dad took a liking to less fortunate females early on as my childhood could remember. My issue is not with the less fortunate per say  My issue is with the bottom feeder mentality that never ceases with them. Always scheming and always taking. Every opportunity is seen as a opportunity to yank somebody’s chain to get what they want, which is immediate gratification. My father was fixated on them.  He would pick up single mothers with kids and take them to the store and help them. He was also, sexually attracted to women my age. Another problem with this was that he did not show that same love and compassion at home. With his wife and children, he was aloof, and socially inept.  Not really a dad. He kept himself occupied with auto repair, TV repair, electrical, plumbing and auto body repair. And, he worked at the Pentagon in Arlington, Virginia for over 35 years in the maintenance services area. He was also an alcoholic.  The deeper he got into assisting the less fortunate, the less he did for his children. He was emotionally unavailable to us. He would only spend $28.00 dollars at the grocery store (When it was his turn to feed us) and that was supposed to feed a family of 5 ( Two cousins were living with us too). In 1983,  my mother  had enough and moved away from him.  I went with her.  When he retired and had nothing to do, his friendships with the  less fortunate took a turn for the worse. His friends were  alcoholics, crack heads, criminals, and prostitutes. All of whom received all of his time and attention. He was available to us only when we needed something fixed, and as long as it didn’t require money. My memories of him is  images of cars, grease, tools, car parts, TV parts, and lots of books and magazines. He lived like a bachelor, even though he had a wife and three children. (One child with special needs).

My dad laid in his cold and wet backyard for some 12 hours, suffering from a stroke. The first girl that found him,(So I thought), her name is Doreen or Dorian. She stole some juice from him and that set things in motion. He followed her out in the yard, yelling and screaming about the juice, and passed out. She was with him outside in the backyard at 2 am on the night of December 21, 2012. She left him in the yard, laying on the wet ground, temperatures went down to the low 30s. And it had rained two straight days, prior. His next door neighbor, saw him laying on the ground, thought he was drunk and ignored him. It was not until another crack user female, Dee Dee heard him making sounds as she walked by, (So I thought), discovered him in the yard, and called the ambulance. That was at 2 pm, the next afternoon. So he laid in the yard, in and out of consciousness, for 12 hours until someone with an ounce of compassion, called the ambulance.  Then, my dad’s crack user girlfriend, Rhonda, came and she became fixated on my dad’s wallet. She tried to get it before  he got on the ambulance but was unsuccessful. Her fake step dad aka (Boyfriend) rode in the ambulance with my dad and got his keys that had fallen. She tried to get his wallet again at the hospital but by then, hospital rules kicked in…Only a family member could receive his property.

I made it to the hospital emergency room and saw my dad. Another female from the street was in the room with him (She seemed genuinely concerned for my dad.( And she told me how much he has done for her.) She was feeding him, banana pudding. He could talk but he was rambling and his left hand and arm shook uncontrollably.  The nurse told me he had suffered a stroke and there was some bleeding from the brain and another CAT scan would be done to see if there were any improvements. She told me when he was brought in, his body temperature was real low, down to 90 degrees. And she said he could not move his left side. But now, there was movement on the left side.  The nurse showed me the bag where his clothes were and told me he was wet when he came in and he had urinated on himself repeatedly. I retrieved his wallet from the bag and his cell phone. (I said to myself as I looked at his bag of clothes)  “The rest is headed to the nearest trash can.”

His girlfriend and fake step dad made arrangements to bring the keys to my mother. They made it and dropped off the keys and my mother gave the fake stepfather $20 for bringing the keys to her.  Me and my brother went over to check out the house and quickly learned that the keys, did not fit any of the doors, inside or outside of the house and his car keys were not on the ring either.  A locksmith was quickly called and they changed the top and bottom locks on the main door, which was the back door to my dad’s section of the house. A quick assessment and video taping showed that my dad’s living condition was far worse that any episode of “Hoarders” I have ever seen. However, nothing appeared to be missing. And we needed to go back and make a thorough assessment of what was taken, if anything. Making matters worse, we’d have to go through piles on top of piles of junk and clothes before an inventory could be completed.

The first update on my father is very good. He made it through two and a half months of rehabilitation. He was able to walk with a cane and is on a lot of medicine. When he was released from rehab. He had to come home with us, rather than return to our childhood home. He turned the basement into a hoarders paradise. Food, junk and clothes, were piled high and everywhere, throughout the basement, backyard, and a room, off from the kitchen. The state came, at one point and cleaned up the backyard, due to complaints. But he had it messed up, again.

As I looked at my dad, he was making jokes and talking crap. It was funny, but I couldn’t laugh. What caught my attention was him. I looked at him really good and I saw myself. I look just like him and his mother. In that alone, I knew what I would look like when I get old, God willing.  I walked in his foot steps, for a season,  with the people in the streets. I hung out and embraced those bottom feeder people too, while getting high on drugs. They knew I didn’t belong and they robbed me and used me to no end. I woke up from that experience (Thank You, Lord) and now, the only way I step into the hood is to serve court papers or take statements in an ongoing investigation. I got my creative side from him and my entrepreneur spirit from him. I don’t have one trade, I have a cluster of trades like he did.  And its the cluster of trades that keep my phone ringing with new and repeat business.

The second update here is also good. I took him to a medical doctor, as a follow up to his rehabilitation release. The medical doctor drew his blood and then told us, there’s nothing more he could do for my father. And then, referred my father to a medical doctor, who also treats geriatric patients.  I found out that the doctor who referred us, also sees this doctor, personally. I felt pretty good about that. The new doctor, was given all medical records from the hospital and rehabilitation facility. He said he’s concerned my father may have blockage in his arteries. I noted to the doctor, that his blood pressure is elevated, whenever he walks. The doctor told me that because of the type of stroke he had (Aneurysm), and he wanted his blood pressure to stay elevated around 140-150/80. I think I said that right. He also referred my father to a cardiologist, for further analysis.

My dad, meanwhile, was pulling all the tricks out of the box, trying to get back over to my childhood home, which is his home. He don’t realize the magnitude of his sickness. He wants to get back to the female drug users and help them with their lives and get sexual favors from. If we let him go now, he’d be dead in 30 days or less.  He’s on anti-seizure medication, which means, he can no longer drive a motor vehicle. He wears a diaper and walks with a walker. He looks like a frail old man, trying to cling to what’s left of his life span. I get it. He wants his independence back.  And that would have been possible, if he had gone to the doctor, for routine checkups, earlier on. He is 78 years old. He will be 79, in June. He has infection in his body, that’s reoccurring. He stays on a different course of antibiotics, constantly. It’s very sad and I feel so sorry for him. I wish I could make it all go away. One trip to his home, he managed to sneak and left money in the yard for his girl friend, Rhonda. (Had I seen it, she would’ve gotten zero.)

My love of animals came from Dad. My pigeon toes came from his mom.  My kind heart came from both my mom and dad. My business mind came from my mother. I don’t age hard like my father. I age like my mom. I’m 51 but don’t look it. My mom is from Washington DC and my dad is from Tifton, Georgia. So I have a healthy mix of the city and of the country. I used to enjoy walking barefoot with my poodles, walking right with me. As I looked at my dad, I faced my own mortality. I realize too,that I may lose him through all of this.  I love my dad. I’m not ready to lose him. I am ready to break the ties he have with the street people. If one more street woman come to me, praising my dad for all that he has done for them, I think I will throw up. Because he was robbed and taken advantage of much worse than me. One left him on the wet ground to die in his own backyard, covered in urine.

I have power of attorney papers in place for my dad to have my mom take charge of his affairs. And those people in the streets that he seemed to enjoy so much, will be expunged from his life. If I can help it, he will never see those people again. My dad is wealthy and did not have to live that way. But now, he will live as he should. Loved and cared for, in his own element.

I know this blog seems like I harbored a lot of resentments, regarding my dad. And you’re right. I was holding anger inside for the way we were treated. He gave the streets more time and attention than his wife and kids. However, life is too short to hold on to resentments. I forgive my dad for all his shortcomings. Having my parents under the same roof again, is a blessing of its own. We are not getting any younger. I have made peace with all of that. I forgive my father and just accept him for who he is.  I love my family. Flaws and all.

The third update here is not good. The clogged arteries came back to haunt my dad. They found 90% blockage in his neck and blockage in his heart. He was sent to University of Maryland Hospital after Prince Georges Hospital could not put a stint in his artery. They said his arteries were almost like dried spaghetti, before its cooked. University of Maryland did a bypass procedure on his heart but was unable  to address the blockage in his neck. They sent him back to a rehabilitation facility, however, his health went into rapid decline. He lost over 40 lbs, he developed a swallow dysfunction, acid reflux dysfunction, a mild case of dementia, hearing loss and his speech is limited. He refused a feeding tube and had to have I.V. fluids often as he can’t drink, because of the swallow dysfunction.

The doctors again said there is nothing more that can be done for him. So hospice care brought him home, so he can live his final moments at home.  We are waiting for the ambulance to bring him because he has lost all muscle functionality. He has to be transported via stretcher. I reached out to a clergy, who came out to talk to my dad. My dad never went to church, read a bible, or had any time getting to know Yah. She came out and spent time talking to us first before going into see daddy. When she went in, he first told her he was not interested. she went in two more times and on the third time, I heard him yell out, “I don’t know God.” She asked him if he wanted to talk to anyone, and of all people, he chose me. I went in and he broke down in tears and told me he was sorry. He asked if I would forgive him. I said, “Yes, I forgive you and I love you too.” And I hugged him.  The clergy asked him if he loved me and he shook his head yes. That conversation melted years of confusion and resentment built up inside of me. Daddy lived with us for two weeks and then he died on May 3, 2013, which was on my birthday.  It was a sad day, indeed. I watched the funeral home wrap his body to take out for finality. I helped hold his face while a scarf was tied around his head and chin, because his mouth was stuck in an open position. I led the family in prayer before they took dad out for the last time and I must say, Yahusha held me together and kept me from falling apart. He was cremated as he requested and we had a private ceremony for him. His urn is at home with us, along with his flag and pictures.

Final update is not good. I learned the Doreen or Dorian and Dee Dee were there the night my dad had the stroke. There was no fight over juice. They were trying to rob my dad and knocked him off the ladder onto the ground, where he suffered the stroke. They left him on the ground and Dee Dee returned to the scene of the crime to find out he was still laying there, in the middle of a stroke. She called the ambulance and then played the role of a hero. What she and Doreen or Dorian did was set in motion, a chain of events, that my dad eventually succumbed to. From December 21, 2011 until May 3, 2013, my dad struggled, unsuccessfully, to get his life back. Yah bless both of those women, because what goes around will always come around. I forgive them for their deeds. I hate the sin, not the sinner. Amen,

by Joan Farley

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About Me

I have a renewed heart as I have paid my dues in this life.  I have been molested as a child, virginity taken in date rape, sexually assaulted as an adult, sexually harassed and have not had a successful relationship to date.  Through the abuse of drugs (Pharmacological and Street drugs) , self loathing and self destruction,  three nervous breakdowns and four suicide attempts. I was crazy with pain and turmoil. It was not until I got down on my knees and begged YAH, crying for Him to take control of my life,  and clear up the madness that had consumed me, that He came and changed my life for the better.  Age 49 was a turning point for me. It’s where I took all the negative energy and turned it into positive energy.  My heart is finally unburdened and I feel free. Free to write and hopefully help others who’s soul is in turmoil.  YAH is good and I give all the praise to Him who created me.

I can’t fully explain the changes that YAH made  in me but I’m different now. I feel everything, spiritually. My heart is filled with enough love, to love the whole world.  All the pain and resentments from my past are gone. I have forgiven all the perpetrators of my past. And, I pray that everyone could feel this uplifting of their soul, as I have been so blessed.  YAH gave me a clean heart. And, He gave me a pure heart to help those who want to be helped.  Being angry and resentful is no longer apart of my equation.

Because of the changes in my persona, I no longer tolerate drama on any level.  I laugh and make a joyful noise. Many misinterpret my glee for silliness and immaturity but I assure you, I am not silly or immature. My heart is just done with the bull crap. I don’t waste time being angry. I don’t waste time mulling over things I can’t change. I feel my first 49 years were squandered (However, I feel those squandered years were necessary to get here, where I am now) and I want to take the rest of my years and enjoy life, qualitatively. I want people around me that share this same philosophy. Life is for the living. Living in Yahuah is living!

My mom is 73 and my dad died at age 79. I  gave my dad his attention while he was alive. And I help my mom all I can with her needs, while she is alive.  My children are all grown up and my oldest son has moved out to start his own life. I want to be present to experience their joys and woes. I am very protective of them and do not want them exposed to unnecessary rifts from outside influences.  But, they have to learn and grow.  I am easy going. I work hard and I play hard. I don’t bother anyone and I don’t want anyone to bother me. My mother promised me that my children would never go through what I went through and she kept that promise. My children have not been sexually molested or had their socialization tainted. For that, I am always grateful to my mother.

A potential life mate for me is one who share in my renewed spirit. He has to be intelligent and insightful. He has to be loving and warm.   He has to have YAH in his heart and life has to mean something to him.  If this man does not exist, I am prepared to live a life of singleness that’s free of fornication. I embrace celibacy, wholeheartedly. If I see any traces of mental issues or mental obstacles whatsoever, I’m running. Because I have no room for that anymore. I’m not jumping through any hoops or listening to any carnival music in dealing with anyone. If you have issues or drama, keep it moving. And please miss me with all of that.  I trust YAHUAH to bring me that future mate, if it’s for me and according to YAH’s will. I am going to enjoy my life and the time that I have left.  YAH gave me a gift of writing and with that, I write to keep my soul cleansed.  I don’t know what direction my writing will go in but I will allow YAH to direct that path as well.

I continue to pray that YAH’s Will take shape in my life as I grow in my faith. Elohim’s love is real and if you want great changes in your life, sincere prayer and a humbled heart are required.  YAH is there and He is waiting for you to come to Him. Many are called but few are chosen.

by Joan Farley Nyobe

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