I don’t wanna be an addict,
but the rush feels so good.
As I pull on the pipe,
the pipe pulls me.
I fall into a hopeless trap,
trying desperately but failing,
to duplicate the first high.
Money wasted, gone on the drus.
Damn there were so many other things
I could have bought instead.
Priorities shifted downward,
my family and me come last.
I don’t wanna be an addict.
But the rush feels so good.
My brain is frying, I know.
Cells drying up but I can’t
think of that now.
As I climb to get the highest euphoria.
The higher I go, my body is changing.
I don’t bathe or brush my teeth.
My hair stays uncombed and my clothes,
dirty from overwear.
I don’t want no sex, just more drugs.
I don’t wanna be an addict.
Please God, help me beat this monkey.
I’m searching my pockets for a 20 dollar bill.
All I need is one more hit.
Why is my body trembling.
Involuntary convulsions.
When I talk, no one listens.
The hole for myself gets deeper and deeper.
I don’t wanna be an addict.
I keep saying I’ll quit while I’m broke.
Soon as I get money i starts all over again.
When I think I got this thing beat,
a friend comes over with plenty in his pocket.
It starts all over again,
a vicious cycle of addiction.
It goes so fast ’cause I’m so greedy.
I don’t wanna be an addict.
written by Joan Farley Nyobe
Inner Revelation 
interesting, we need to talk
I don’t wanna be an addict
It is the feel of exhilaration, urge for ex One must learn to keep a balance between the two.
The need for exhilaration, urge to overcome the feeling of boredom and to feel on top of world, that drives one to ‘ecstasy’. In a momentarily rush one takes to it. No one wants to get hooked on to it, willfully. The addiction comes as a package and stays on as the consequence.
The eternal tug of war between to ‘have it’ or ‘not to have it’ goes on internally – within one’s mind.
You have very aptly and articulately captured the vivid details of the ongoing tussle and more importantly what drives them to drugs.