One day, I would love for my phone to not ring off the hook with people inundated with problems and issues for me to solve. I feel everything, especially with the people I care about. I love everyone, but I wish they would give me a break. Because on top of dealing with my own issues, I will always kick myself to the side and actively become involved in my friends problems. I have neglected my books for my business, neglected my advertising, and my reports have not been my absolute best and I have missed 4 calls for notary signings. And it is all due to mental exhaustion. I take on other peoples issues and allow them to drain me of my energy source. All I can do is sleep and completely ignore the things I have going on. I can’t function as a mother, I can’t function as an entrepreneur, and I can’t function as a person. This has to stop. If my true friends cared about me and know me, they know that I can become overwhelmed easy. In any event, whether they see it or not, my floor mat days are over and people will just have to wipe their feet elsewhere. I’ll make myself sick and worse, depressed because I can’t say no. I’m tired of it. I have been doing this for 49 years. I don’t want to appear selfish by any means but for once in my life, it has to be all about me for my own peace of mind. I have officially declared myself, “An Issue Free Zone.” And during this time period, I have no answers for anyone. You need to find a lawyer, look in the Yellow Pages. You need a doctor, call a referral line. You need a wordsmith, find somebody else. I’m tired, I just can’t do it anymore because I am emotionally and physically drained. I have to do what’s best for me for a change. But, how kind is too kind hearted? How do you know when your kindness is being taken as a weakness? How do you know you are being used? Is it the feeling you get in the pit of your stomach? Or, is it when you feel deep down within your soul that something is not right. You want to confront the individual but what if you’re wrong? I hate hurting peoples feelings yet, people are free to trample on my feelings. How sick is that? How do I resolve the conflict that is buried deep within me? How devastated will I be when I find that my gut reaction is true?
written by Joan Nyobe