I will always be an advocate for children. Children are being raped, murdered, and kidnapped in record numbers. As a child, I was physically assaulted and sexually molested repeatedly by different family members. Needless to say, I didn’t have a voice growing up. Situations were quickly buried under the rug. So, I stopped talking and allowed the molestations to go on undetected. But when I grew up, things just didn’t feel right. I had a cousin try to rape me when I was 17 years old. As I started working in the workplace, I was sexually assaulted and sexually harassed. Mostly because I was quiet and would regress to childhood moments and allow the incident to take place and just pray that it would be done with quickly so I could get on with my life. What life? I spent the bulk of my years self destructing and riddled in years of low self esteem. I couldn’t stand myself. I felt God had made a horrible mistake and placed me in the wrong century. I used anything to gain some sense of sanity because I really felt like I was losing my mind. I tried prescription medicines but it only left me doped up and permeated with different side effects. I tried street drugs too and the side effects of the street variety were much worse than the prescribed medicines. I started hanging with undesirable people because I wanted to belong somewhere and my family wasn’t the place where I felt safe. The streets were by far worse than anything I had ever seen. Jail wasn’t far off. I got picked up right along with my associates and had to go to court before I could be found innocent or charges being dropped and/or thrown out of court.
No One could help me because in order to help me, they had to dig into my past. Digging into my past brought about more self destruction and wreaked even more havoc on my life. I struggled to find my way and wound up in a lot of trouble before the smoke finally cleared. It wasn’t until I found God that the relief finally came into play. God started removing all the undesirable people from my life. And he showed me how to clean up the mess I had made out of my life. No one can clean you up like God can. I’m still going through day to day dramas that I will explain later, but with God’s help, all things is possible.
The point of this is to show the destruction child molesting can have on an innocent child. It warps everything out of control. The child don’t realize the molestation is wrong until he or she reaches the age of majority and learn from others how wrong the behaviors was. Then that child don’t know what to do with the information learned. Self blame comes in followed by self destruction. The person may never feel clean again. I am just now at the age of 50 beginning to feel clean. Just beginning to live my life. It’s a hard struggle and I must reiterate, we have to become Child Advocates. Our children need us to be there for them. To protect them and keep them safe. Please, Let’s help them before it’s too late.
written by Joan Nyobe